Banter
I have no idea how to banter anymore. But apparently everywhere I go, people want to engage me in some sort of conversation. I’m just trying to buy a quart of ice-cream and some coffee grounds. Why, supermarket lady, does this exchange require you know about my Christmas plans?Japan can really jade you in this way. People don’t actually talk to other people unless they know them. If they do, this is a sure sign they are a crazy person. At times this is awesome. Though I knew quite a few foreigners in Tokyo who hated this. I remember walking down the street with a newly arrived friend from Edmonton, Canada. I had my street face on. This entails not making eye contact with anyone or even acknowledging that hundreds of people are using the same sidewalk as you. They are just a herd of faceless humanity. Bart, from Edmonton however endearingly sweet a guy as he was, nodded and said “Hello” to everyone who passed. We got about three blocks before…
“What the hell is wrong with these people? Everyone is so unfriendly.”
I explained, “No, they just think you are a crazy person and I am probably a social worker taking you out for your daily walk.”
In truth, Japanese people are incredibly friendly. Particularly if you get a few drinks in them. But for a multitude of reasons
Her: What *unintelligible question*?
Her: That works for me.
Me: Ok?
Her: $2.50.
Me: Here you go. Thanks.
Her: You’re welcome baby.
Baby? I don’t think in all my years anyone in Tokyo has called me “Baby.” At least not in any story I’m willing to share right now. But my confusion and surprise gave way to a smile. Ahhhhhhmerica. The miles of flight melted away and I felt very much back at home. In a good way.
The fact remains… I’m not sure how one is supposed to respond to “You’re welcome baby.”
Any tips on how one is supposed to banter? I think I need a refresher course.
I recognized this phenomenon mostly when i end up in supermarkets at lunchtime. Older people shuffle along the hallways and end up in the line at the supermarket checkout. me in between. And the bantering starts. I mostly enjoy it because it´s mostly nice and funny what the people have to tell. I really enjoy the short conversations with elderly people because i haven´t got any grandma´s pa´s left. But the trend goes downwards i recognized that the younger generations aren´t interested anymore in the older generation or the ones around 40-50 years just ignore the other people. More and more people are joining the faceless Zombie army with no eyes and mouths. I enjoy talking to people who have lived many years and saw and experienced so many things. And btw. great to have you back “online” Kevin 🙂 I enjoy reading all the articles:)
Glad you’re back Kevin. My tip: Know your audience before you engage in banter. But that’s a challenge at times since you don’t always have very long to size someone up …like at the registers in the store. Thus, I’d recommend erring on the side of caution.
Man , have i missed you. Like i came upon your videos waaaaaaaaaaaay late. When i finished them all i sorta…well …i cried. Now let me explain. I was around 14, i had just spent the entire night watching the last of your videos, and it was 5 am. I had school in 3 hours (had to be up at 6) and i cried. Like a baby. One part of missing you, and a second out of delusions consuming me. I loved learning about Japan through you, and learning your personal experiences. 🙂 man your rock. I look forward to your blogs 🙂 and if more videos come eventually, than sweet 😛
Thanks! That’s very kind of you. I’m just playing around with text at the moment, but I do hope to get back to making videos. Sorry if I affected your scholastic achievement. 😛
Me too. Except I didn’t finish at 5 am.
You still live in Japan, right?